I really like the name. The song fits it and it fits the title. It was very dark and deep. You were pouring out your emotions and we could really understand how you felt so much 'pain' and some of those lines were golden, for example, "People say hate is such a strong word, but people throw love around like it's nothing." Very good and very true.
I would just like to point out a few things that need attention. With that, I think a wonderful writing will come out of this.
1. Some spelling errors - I think you meant to say "your" and "chosen".
2. It needs better punctuation in some areas.
3. You might want to shorten some lines or even them out just a tad bit. But if it would be strange that way, leave it.
4. Maybe make it a little longer? It depends. If it's a poem, then the length is just fine, especially for the message you're trying to get across. But if it's meant to be a song, I would add more to it. But add meaningful lines, not ones just to make it longer.
It's a good writing. The emotion was excellent. Keep up the great work!
Points: 890
Reviews: 2
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